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Weird News: Burglars Cleaning Up, Potty Training Humor and the Missing Ivory Tusks That Will Complete Your Outfit

Plus, using a fake identity to buy cars and fake money to buy stuff on Craigslist.

Weird news roundup. Patch file.
Weird news roundup. Patch file.

By Greg Hambrick

Editor's Note: Patch has 31 sites in Virginia and D.C., and not a day goes by that something weird isn't happening somewhere in the area. Here's a look back at some weird goings-on over the past week.

You Stole My Makeover! Three different beauty supply stores were robbed in Prince William County recently, with more than $14,400 worth of hair products stolen. The incidents have not officially been connected, but we can’t imagine rival street gangs with really good hair and lipstick. Actually, we can, but it’s called “West Side Story.”

Poop Comedy. A Brambleton YouTube enthusiast who has previously parodied suburban living is at it again with “I Need to Go Potty,” a rap about potty training. If you’ve never been through the experience, potty training is so tedious and time consuming that you have enough time to write and produce a song about it.

Elephant NOT in the Room. Ivory tusks valued at more than $10,000 have been stolen from a City Hall building in Washington, D.C. The pair actually went missing in August, but quiet efforts to track down the tusks went nowhere. Now, there’s a public push to find these treasures. Yes, they would make a fine addition to your Worlds of Warcraft cosplay. No, that is not a good reason to keep them.

I Can’t Hear You Now. An expensive piece of proprietary cell phone tower equipment is apparently worthless to the poor burglar who pulled it from the back of a truck bed this week in Manassas. The victim told police the tower scanner is worth up to $10,000, but only if you’re using it with his company’s equipment. So if your phone bill goes up next month, you can blame this perp.

Fake Your Way to the Top. Lots of fraudulent crime this week. A man reported to Fairfax City police that an unknown woman has tried to use his personal information twice in the past seven months in an attempt to buy cars from a local dealership. Meanwhile, sellers on Craigslist contacted Spotsylvania law enforcement after they were paid with fake cash. And, meanwhile again, an unknown subject pulled a gun on a man when he questioned the fake cash he was being handed for selling his game console in Manassas Park.

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