Schools

Survival Tips for College-Bound Students (and Parents)

Don't save the advice for when you're saying goodbye.

By Mary Ann Barton

Many families across Northern Virginia are busy preparing to go to college — shopping at the Container Store, wondering what the dorm room will be like and bucking up for that emotional goodbye.

Feeling swamped? It's normal.

More than 80 percent of college students felt overwhelmed by all they had to do in the past year, according to a study by the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

But experts say that parents and students can prepare themselves ahead of time so they won't feel so overwhelmed. Here is some advice from the pros:

The Big Goodbye: "...recognize your feelings and sort out your emotions before the big departure," parenting expert Michele Borbtells Today. "This is the time to use restraint. It's probably best not to say, 'What am I going to do without you?' "

Parting Advice: Don't save up all of your words of wisdom for the last minute. Set aside time before you leave home to quietly go over the big worries. Borba suggests making a list: "Financial matters (like spending money and that credit card); your expectations; how you'll stay in touch; when you'll see each other next; and those safety issues like binge drinking and date rape (most parents say safety is their biggest concern)."

Here's where you can get advice on each of those items:

  • Financial matters: Check with your bank for a reloadable debit card for your child. It might also be a good idea to be sure the bank has a branch in the same town where the college is located. If you can, try to get your child used to using a debit card before college. This Yahoo article has information about several bank cards that cater to students.
  • Expectations: When you sit down for that talk before the family heads to college, go over what you expect — that your child graduate in four years with a degree, says a mom on parentsconnect.com. Go over the types of things that can derail a college career: Excessive drinking, drugs, unwelcome sexual activity and plagiarizing.
  • How you'll stay in touch: Experts and parents say to mix it up between social media (Facebook, Twitter), Skype, texting, phone calls, actual visits and sending mail — and care packages with homemade treats and useful items. Try to set aside a longer, more meaningful phone call once each week.
  • When you'll see each other next: If you have a firm date for parents' weekend with hotel reservations made, that will make everyone feel more relaxed. Don't forget to book flights early for Thanksgiving.
  • Binge drinking: The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse offers information specifically targeted to college students.
  • Date rape: There is general information here from Campus Explorer, but you should also check your child's university for specific public safety information and services. Here are security features you should look for, according to BestColleges.com, on campus.
  • Roommate problems: Some advise to bunk with a friend freshman year, but someone who isn't your best friend. That way you won't deal with the anxiety of the unknown and you also won't spend every waking moment with your BFF and never meet anyone new. More from this article in US News.


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